508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
where am i from again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize