i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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