is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
