You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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