Texts From Last Night

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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important

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  (780): Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important http://tfl.nu/ydfw
  Replies (19) Good night (2605) Bad night (677)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

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  (318): Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity. http://tfl.nu/izk8
  Replies (66) Good night (627) Bad night (4766)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?

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  (912): Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance? http://tfl.nu/favq
  Replies (39) Good night (4933) Bad night (963)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick

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  (727): the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick http://tfl.nu/3g66
  Replies (10) Good night (6109) Bad night (1469)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.

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  (727): whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob. http://tfl.nu/6fb1
  Replies (6) Good night (980) Bad night (2853)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.

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  (403): the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask. http://tfl.nu/zsyi
  Replies (1) Good night (994) Bad night (2478)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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  (317): What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am? http://tfl.nu/0wpx
  Replies (8) Good night (1779) Bad night (762)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.

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  (352): Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman. http://tfl.nu/vqgs
  Replies (13) Good night (2762) Bad night (691)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.

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  (717): Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error. (1-717): Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening. http://tfl.nu/753x
  Replies (8) Good night (2415) Bad night (626)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

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  (508): Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos. http://tfl.nu/qg1c
  Replies (7) Good night (1806) Bad night (607)
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  (212): View more from New York

  all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"

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  (212): all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???" http://tfl.nu/w522
  Replies (8) Good night (1403) Bad night (728)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells

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  (978): I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells http://tfl.nu/uff7
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (731)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes

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  (859): She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes http://tfl.nu/2ifp
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (375)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

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  (208): Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet http://tfl.nu/73eb
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (856)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...

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  (785): I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench... http://tfl.nu/97xe
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (328)

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