I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
