eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
soo... how was my night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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