I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
