Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
