i just wanna soil my oats bro
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
