Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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