She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
