Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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