Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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