I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I can't turn off my feet"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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