I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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