Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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