Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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