You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
