A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She announced her abortion via fbk
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
