No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
