All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
