you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
