Your mouth is God's brothel.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
this boner is exhausting
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
