Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize