If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
