ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize