so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
