just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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