Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Please, let me fuck your mom
thus making me awesome and them whores
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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