She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
