I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
