but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
