So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize