Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
