i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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