Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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