don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
