His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
