Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
