i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
