somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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