Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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