Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
