Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
