so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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