I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
