Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
