The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
