i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
