He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
