I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
