I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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