I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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