He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
