we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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