He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Small penises have feelings too.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
