I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
